Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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