Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
