I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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