Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
