First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
