I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
a search helicopter?!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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