Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize