I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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