Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
