i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
