Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
