we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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