i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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