he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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