No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
