Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
