It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
