I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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