I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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