It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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