i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
