I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
