why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
