I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
