The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just invented taco cereal.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
