im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
