At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
