a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
