I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize