I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
