It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
