think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
