I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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