I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
