I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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