Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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