She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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