my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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