I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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