ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
did i just pee glitter
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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