You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
