Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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