Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
