remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
