just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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