Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
