Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
