with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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