covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
