I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
