if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
