Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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