she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
