Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How naked do you want me to be?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
