i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
