you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
